


Fading

by AkiOnTheMoon



Category: the GazettE (Band)
Genre: Angst, Car Accidents, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Non-Explicit Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-14 20:33:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29177241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AkiOnTheMoon/pseuds/AkiOnTheMoon
Summary: We may fade, but only together.
Relationships: Kai/Reita (the GazettE)
Kudos: 4





	Fading

Death stole you away from me.

I lost sight of you.

Suddenly, I couldn't grasp you no matter how far I reached.

_It's so sad._

_Where have you gone?_

I was so happy when I met you.

Your brown hair was softly blowing in wind.

Your gentle eyes were looking at me with that friendly look.

The scene was more beautiful than the ones in movies.

Just like that, you'd become my first love.

High school was the best time of my life.

You treated me gently - as if I was something precious.

Eventually, you stole my first kiss.

Then gradually, made me fall for you completely.

And held me in your arms tightly, refusing to let go.

Our first date was terrible.

You insisted on taking me to the cinema, but forgot that it was closed that day.

So you decided to take me to the new cafe, but it was full to the brim.

It even started raining, so we had to ran to find a shelter.

And still, it was the most beautiful moment when you kissed me and asked me to be your boyfriend.

First year passed quickly and next year came rushing.

You never missed a chance to hug or kiss me.

Not even my long bangs could hide my shining eyes.

Sweet kisses and soft touches quickly demanded to be replaced by something _more_.

So I let you hold me.

Pushing me to the bed, you made sure I got intoxicated with your scent.

Tearing my shirt open, you kissed me so passionately I melted.

Exploring my whole body thoroughly, you almost drove me crazy.

Filling me slowly, you enjoyed hearing my small moans.

Making love to me, you embraced me tightly and marked me yours.

Our destinies then became chained to each other.

And our souls got pulled together by the red string of fate.

You made me feel happy and wanted.

It was all just so perfect.

But every fairytale hid its cruel truth.

A month before the end of the second year, your behavior changed.

When you thought I wasn't looking, you stared at me sadly.

You seemed to be worried about something and it bothered me.

So I confronted you.

The harsh reality hit me immediately.

Because of family reasons, you had to move.

We wouldn't get to spend summer together.

This was our last spring.

You said that soon, we had to say farewell.

And just like that, my heart broke.

The day before you had to leave, we made love for the last time.

Your room was empty, the things were already packed in boxes.

I held onto you with everything I got.

Somehow, I tried to convey my feelings to you.

But with the morning coming, it was goodbye.

This love brought me the biggest happiness.

It also gave me the most wonderful memories.

But it disappeared while leaving an intense pain behind.

In my heart, there was a bleeding wound.

And even if it healed someday, the scar would stay.

My life from that point was a mess.

I graduated and found a good-paying job.

There were good days as well as bad days.

On the good days, I convinced myself that it was all just a dream.

On the bad days, I couldn't stop the tears from falling.

That town held too many memories of you.

I would go crazy if I stayed there.

So I moved to Tokyo and found a best friend.

He helped me to get on my feet again.

Suddenly, I could see a better future.

Since you left me lonely, I needed to distract myself.

That's why I started playing bass the day after your departure.

Music drowned all my fears and worries.

For once, even my sad thoughts shut up.

When the offering to join a band came, I took it without hesitation.

But things weren't easy at all.

Tokyo is a cruel city - if you're not cautious, you'll lose everything.

Our drummer left without an explanation.

Still, we refused to give up and searched for replacement.

Then the unexpected happened.

A few days later, our vocalist said he found someone perfect for us.

Surely, I didn't expect to see you.

You changed a lot but the light in your eyes stayed the same.

It was nice to see you after all these years.

But my heart began bleeding again.

If you didn't recognize me, it would be fine.

It would hurt so much, but I could live through that.

Instead, when our gazes met, I knew.

You couldn't believe it, but it was me.

Two shattered souls got pulled together by the red string of fate once again.

Despite my never-ending love for you, I wanted to run away.

The moment the band meeting ended, I disappeared.

What I didn't expect was to see you chasing after me.

Once holding my hand, I tried to fight you.

But you just embraced me and held me for a long time.

Easily, the walls protecting me were ruined.

Instead of them, you, who hurt me the most, came to keep me safe.

The attraction was too overwhelming.

Even though I was afraid of getting hurt, I risked it.

I decided to become yours for just a night.

In the past, you held me so gently as if you were scared of breaking me.

That night, you didn't hesitate to dominate me.

I only wanted to feel what it was like to make love with someone you care about a lot.

I only wanted to live my memory again.

But the passion got the worst out of me.

Once again, I submitted completely.

Yet this time, I demanded something too.

I wanted your hard kisses and I wanted you to be rough.

Only pain could keep me sane.

Even if you looked unhappy, you granted me my wishes.

After the afterglow, I needed to leave.

But the three innocent words coming from your mouth stopped me.

When you repeated them, I broke.

While crying, you hugged me tightly.

A few hours later, I was sound asleep in the safety of your arms.

Forgiving you was difficult.

You hurt me once, how could I know you wouldn't do it again?

Still, you were my heart's biggest desire.

Slowly, I took small steps to you who reached out to me.

It took me a while but in the end, I was yours again.

Years passed and we still didn't change.

Our band became famous and so we could afford to buy an apartment together.

Then it became harder to have a secret relationship.

Without other choice, we said the truth.

Having such wonderful friends, everyone just cheered on us.

Falling asleep and waking up next to you was like a dream.

Who would ever thought that my first love was my one and only?

We had dates and enjoyed a lot of fun.

Sometimes, we had fights, but we could solve every problem.

I loved you and I always stayed with you.

So I wonder why did it come to this.

We were meant to be together.

We loved each other too much to be separated.

I only wanted to hold your hand again.

This silence was scary.

I didn't know what happened to the driver of the car.

I also didn't know what caused him to crash into us.

All I knew was that I was all alone.

There was no warmth keeping me safe anymore.

I was thrown into darkness again.

The moment we were hit, we went flying in the air.

For a few minutes, I blacked out.

When I came to myself, I needed to know if you were alright.

Once laying my eyes on you, it was all gone.

My world crumbled into million pieces.

I didn't know how much time passed since then.

But I too, never opened my eyes again.

They moved me into an hospital and the tubes kept me alive.

Despite being unable to see, I could hear perfectly.

There wasn't a big chance for me to survive.

Our bandmates came to see me.

Each of them talked to me and wished to see my recovery.

Also, every one of them cried, because they knew.

Even if I could wake up again, there was no home for me anymore.

Therefore, no matter how much they cried, it was meaningless.

Without you, I didn't have a reason to live.

If only I could wake up to realize that it was only a dream.

I wondered if the tears fell down even in my unconsciousness.

My only wish was to meet you again.

Without you, it was too lonely.

I found myself on the verge of love and pain.

Life was leaving me and death was getting closer.

But I only wanted to go to the place where you were.

It hurt too much to think about living without you.

The you, who was precious to me, was my one and only.

Slowly, the time stood still.

I became motionless and my breath became shallow.

Reaching out my hand, the darkness didn't bother me.

Because a light appeared in front of me, sheltering me from loneliness.

When your arms embraced me, I was finally home.

_We may fade, but only together._


End file.
